Category Archives: Comedy
I have been brand loyal to Orange for many years, dating back to before mobulls (Baconese) were invented and we used to have to throw children into raw sewage to get messages to loved ones across The Thames to arrange … Continue reading
Liv Tyler gazes out at me from her minimalist, luxury apartment. I pause, my heart races, she begins, “Look what I’ve put my hair through.” Those seven words shatter my soul like a crystal rose and I begin to sob … Continue reading
Practicing the dark art of obsessive compulsive narcissism affords me the sort of self-appointed expertise on health & fitness often found at the bottom of every DVD bargain bin in most supermarkets by the likes of her that used to be … Continue reading
Heart-wrenching email received from a beautiful Russian temptress – she has not replied to my response below? Hmm… From: “Yuliya” <email@example.com> To: <matt*******@*********.co.uk> Date: 01/02/2012 11:40 Subject: POTENTIAL SPAM: Hi my new friend. … Continue reading
Many years ago, back when computers were made of oak and the Internet was a minority sport, we all relied on hard copy for most of our pleasures. We all read our newspapers and got inky fingers. We all mounted … Continue reading
Let us be clear. On your drive to work this morning you made 2,416 basic driver errors that resulted in you being called a “[pre-fix redacted] twat” and ensuring that at least 4 people were late for their work – … Continue reading
On February 3rd, 2011 @Julian_Ass found a wallet… On March 25th, 2011 @CharlieSheeny found another wallet… Coincidence, or joke-stealing thievery of the highest order from a massive prick spoofing a massive prick? You decide.